I am sick. I need to rebuild. Ignorance pushed my head to the depths of trouble and did a great job keeping it there.
I am the living proof of what would become of a man who succumbs to fear, to inferiority complex and to his own immaturity.
And a heart I broke... How stupid was I and how could this have happened? I don't know but I'm gonna find out.
For the first time ever I'm going to see a psychiatrist in my life. I'm not experienced in this field but this is the field that kept me inexperienced throughout my whole life. So if I am to be a healthy person, I've got to conquer that very field first.
Long story short, I have a wasted life in one hand and a heart I've broken to pieces in the other, I'm going to bring those hands together, I'm going to heal as I'm going to cure, memories will always be there but not as back-lashing monsters or skeletons in a closet but as the novelties of a war long fought and eventually lost.
Now it's a new dawn and the night was darkest just before. I'm going to let the sun in and kick the fear, the lies and all that's swept under the carpet out, cause I'm worth it, cause she's worth it.
Like all the good stories this is about a girl and the boy who needs to rebuild himself from the debris that he is so that he can deserve what he has lost.
I failed to stand up for myself, now I'm willing to stand up tall for two.
I have faith so I will prevail.
I hope it works out, Erdem. I applaud your courage and will to do something like this! =)
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